September 26, 2023 — Comments are off for this post.

Finding out | I’m not equipped

Hello. It's me.
There were many drafts before this one. lots. deleted and binned. Because my revolving door.

A mental one.

Each draft stating how I will start, finish "X" thing.
Mental health; the erosion - finding myself suddenly drowning, but - suddenly, finding my feet again … only to be drained of all motivation & joy - suddenly. Overwritten with an anti-programs.

I'm good for now. Reflecting and disconnecting from everything. A hard reboot. From family, friends, clients and even hobbies. Hobbies that I thought would help. Outlets that no longer could; for a period of time.

I think the trigger was the labyrinth maze of social media - all of them; terminally online, trying to navigate paths & exits - I got tried. Enough energy was spent building sandcastles during high tides. I'll find my own rhythm again, back to the party, but for now. I'm picking up the pieces that I've left, lost & found.

Small wins. Keeping this short. I tend to announce things, but probably won't do this any more. False - compounding of broken promises. To others and myself. Will I again? When it feels right. For now this will be small letters in invisible bottles for things I'm in control of. On a server I own, as long as the money is there to sustain it.

The intent was to strike while I still had some kindling of motivation. I don't know when it will die again. I do know it has been happening more frequently. A plus side of these swings is I stop caring. A small window of freedom on what I want to do without the mental web that overloads into a entanglement of action paralysis.

I think I'll write more. I will, when I can. If only for me and my mental health. Part of it is public accountability. I have tons of these untitled text files like this on my computer/phone. I think having another outlet can't hurt.

It wasn't as short as I intended, but nothing ever is.

Published by Tony Tran in invisible letters

Tags: journal

December 22, 2022 — No Comments

Dungeon23 and the year to come

DAMN!
almost the end of year, and so begins another cycle.
I'm not entirely sure what to do with this website. The traditional route is posting my portfolio. But I think I'll try keeping this up as nice spot to share my interest and TTRPG of course.

I've been accustomed to putting creative output on rented land., but the migration back to more self-owned is shifting. Social media has it's place - I think the psychological engineering is quiet messed up and how that data feeds back into making a voodoo doll version of us to market to; BUT this is a strange rant to go down. I am hopeful that this change spurs on more independent endeavours. We don't need to capture the hearts of all - just enough (and that is up to you).

Where was I …. Also will edit this later, just going to hit the ol' publish button and hope my dyslexia hasn't made me sound like a poop emoji.

Dungeon23 // Aparagus23

I'm going to participate in dungeon 23, I won't repeat what most already know, but I'll copy paste a snippet from what I post on the many socials; as I won't try re-write it (again).

Here is my inner page for Asparagus23 - a forest mega dungeon I’m going to try tackle at the start of the year. It’s a #dungeon23 project. Which won’t need no introduction. (link for those curious) Props to Sean McCoy (Game designer of Mothership)

The setting will be set around CAIRN. Also revamping my website to do a weekly update for it … but probably fortnightly for sanity.

keeping it quite loose, no rules - just using this as a chance to learn, practice writing, and an excuse for up-keeping a blog.

There could be a sunflower hat in it.

So here is to the revival of this website/blog and will start uploading my art/TTRPG projects.

Projects to finish

I also have a few old and new projects to come, thanks for those who have been patiently waiting (or forgot) and those who have brough me into new projects for 2023!

A big apologies to those who paid me for that "Duckworth game" in ZIMO 2022. I'm still in the game to make this happen in 2023 and forgo ZIMO 2023 (maybe), but will throw in some things to make up for lost time.

2023 the year of the ducks, and speaking of ducks.

BONUS ROUND

I've been listening to a new podcast: Between Two Cairns
hosted by Yochai Gal and Brad Kerr - A podcast that reviews RPGS with a duo that is unmatched in knowledge and comedic timing. They also keeping this free! but there is a patreon - there could be stickers in the works, but it is just an entry in the rumor table at the moment. But their logo has a duck in it - this has my backing.

Published by Tony Tran in Notepad

Tags: duckworth, dungeon23, TTRPG

November 15, 2022 — Comments are off for this post.

Is this thing … on?

Ah … hello old friend.
WordPress has been an on and off again relationship for me. Much like social media itself. The healthiest transition that I've taken away from decades of web surfing is … understanding that the algorithm as a tool is okay, but not okay when you think your it's systemically programed to to get you hooked.
Recent months I've waned off the media platforms and recharged myself elsewhere - don't get me wrong. The internet is sick (in a cool way, not the negative use of sick.) and has its place, but staying online for too long, blurs the lines of fun/learning to addiction and FOMO.

Anyway, a little rusty on the ol' writing, I come to it with no topics, more of a free flow and massage it from there. I'm actually writing this on a notepad to have less distractions; no editing and styling in mind until later - though there is heaps of red lines as I've misspelt 30% of my words and dyslexia has its hands on my sentence structure, so I'll have to definitely re-read and hope I don't skip words.

Affinity V2

The state of software. most are now in the subscription status but the people at Serif are not, and currently still do a one-off payment which I admire. Not sure how financially sustainable it is for the team there but must be working some how, which is a good thing. One less thing they is taken out every month or year makes me a happy camper; though it really comes down to at a macro scale, but also its infinite. hm….. (insert thinking statue here)

Having all the software all in one payment is great. By all, you get all of the Affinity suite: Designer, Photo and Publisher. On all the platforms! Windows, Mac and iOS. This was the biggest selling point for me to make the jump before the 40% deal goes out.

A cool thing about these program is that imported images are automatically set to non-destructive. Strange thing - with Designer folder is called layer, which allows orphan layers to be parented to that layer. More akin to illustrator.

More ramblings.

The point of this exercise was to get things out of my head without too much structure. Also to test my image ratios on this blog. I guess this is a dummy post to break the ice to be honest. So… here is an illustration of a black cat I've made done with my XP Deco - MW - Bluetooth - I'll end it there.

Have a great day!

Note: Oh hey, Markdown works here. Nice.

Published by Tony Tran in Notepad

Tags: affinity, software

April 30, 2022 — No Comments

2022 – Okay for real this time

Alright alright alright. So looks like I'm going to be out of a job and a home for those playing at home. Which brings me to a lot of reflection

What to do next, and where to go from here....

(Image credit: Nintendo - With edits by me)

Well, good question. I don't really know. I think I took the anxiety of this situation and used it to starting chipping away at this website, which was originally intended for my freelance graphic design work. but in 2021... I really got into the hobby of TTRPG.

I used to blog sporadically, but my writing was a bit manic at times and I have dyslexia which means I had to edit a lot more due to words switching and the many red lines under the words I try to attempt to spell, but ... that doesn't seem to stop me - I guess... I haven no formal training and my past school life was a... how would you say.... not a model student, a decline by the time I hit highschool. One of my many regrets but I guess I the sliver lining is I got out of that side of life before it could suck me into the void.

Anyway... back to work and TTRPG. The community and the space, especially the indie scene as I'm very fond of the people who create small things and sometimes turn into big things, but just the energy and persistence is so cool. I've been fortunate enough to work with people who believed in my art early when I started sharing in the TTRPG discord groups, and thankfully I come off a okay guy online, not to say I'm not - wait is that weird to say, to late, just going to keep typing.

I'm going to share some of the works later down the track, but for those who are reading this and made me part of their project and community - it means a lot. like lots lots. so I guess in a round about way, I'm going to stick around as the projects and community really for fulfils me and I hope to bring my skills set that I've gathered and give back to the new and old in the space. some how...

Guess I'll just start by continuing to keep this blog updated as much as possible but 1st finishing off some early TTRPG projects that I'm apart of.

Future to-do

Commissions & other TTRPG commitments (Thank you! and Apologies for the delay)
Get some progress on the ZIMO - duckworth project
May Newsletter - Frog Snail Mail Network (probably mid May due to Job hunting)
Thinking about Patreon and commissions callouts.
Fan art for some games I really like - perhaps dabble back into video/animation this time.

Thanks for reading, and I guess this was also way of making me force write as I've put a 10 minute timer on - which has now gone off.

So..... bye for now, but not forever.
(I don't think I answered my earlier questions...)

Published by Tony Tran in Notepad

September 15, 2021 — Comments are off for this post.

2021 – The neu Beginning

Hello 2020 - took me years to chip away at this and planning to finish it by Dec 2020.
Lets see how it goes.

(Past me in 2020)

Famous last word, as this was the intent for the website upgrade which never happened. So the strange thing about this is the motivation to pick this up again one the same month of last year, which was not intended as I totally forgot about this post. So to a new start.

// edit: I was going to overwrite the old post, but thought I'd keep it as a time capsule post.

(I wonder if I can compose a blog post within MarkDown, which I've been used to currently for my digital writing.)

Okay. New start.

The Beginning

Going to start blogging again, or at least keep this as a habit to track what I am doing - research and experimentation in the fields that interest me at the point in time of the post.

The end. Going to spend the rest of the week doing my todo list before I fiddle around with WP settings.

Marie Kondo - That Spark Joy In Your Life

Yes. Yes it does.

What I've been listening to: HDK - Dungeon Synth.
Super inspiring to work to and as I'm getting deep into TTRPG:

Instgram bio:
DIY label focused on ambient punk, dungeon-synth, wartime music and post-nuclear wave. Managed by creative punx from Milano city

https://heimatderkatastrophe.bandcamp.com/album/hdk-102-hdk-dungeon-synth-magazine-3

Note: Look into markdown plug-in

Published by Tony Tran in Notepad

September 1, 2020 — Comments are off for this post.

2020 – New website in progress

Hello 2020 - took me years to chip away at this and planning to finish it by Dec 2020.
Lets see how it goes.

Published by Tony Tran in Notepad